Saturday, October 23, 2010

It's Not About Sex

This is something that I feel the need to clarify. Everywhere I've made my presence known (myspace, facebook, flickr, and even in real life) there are men (and it's always men) who approach me like some piece of fuckable meat. I don't mind being flirted with, however I despise being hit on. Yes there is a difference, hitting on a girl is what guys who don't know how to flirt do. I've even been propositioned a few times, which is at first oddly flattering (especially when the offer is high) and then deeply insulting. I know for many dressers out there putting on the closes of the opposite gender is a deeply sexual and sensual experience, a fetish even. I pass no judgement on dressers like that, but it's not me.


Photo by Laura

To be clear I certainly can feel sexy when I'm dressed, and I usually do. I'm deeply narcissistic and I know that, I'd totally do me. That said I'm capable of feeling sexy as a man as well. I do have to admit that feeling sexy as a man and feeling sexy as a woman are distinctly different experiences. But feeling sexy about something doesn't automatically make it a sexual act. I don't dress for the purposes of getting off. And I certainly don't do it to try to get other people off.

I dress because there's a feminine side of my personality that is not properly expressed in my day to day life. I don't consider Vera to be my "true self" and I'm somehow repressing that. That's why I don't consider myself a transexual. I'm perfectly at home in both my male and female personas. I dress as a form of personal, even spiritual, release. I dress so I can take center stage and wow a crowd. I dress for pictures that I can look at later and feel a sense of pride that I can look that good. In short I dress for me. Not for horny men who think I'm some fetishistic ideal.


Photo by Laura

All of this is a rather long winded way of basically saying "No, I have no interest in your penis" to any and all men who send me countless crude messages. I'll take your admiration gladly, even your lust if you can be respectful about it. But keep your body parts and any mention of them to yourself.

3 comments:

  1. But sometimes you find nice guys... But, you are so right. You have to sort out tons of genitals to get to the true hearts.

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  2. I have nothing but love for admirerers who are able to remain respectful... they're just few and far between

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  3. I wholeheartedly agree Vera....Well Said!

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