I realized that for what I was going through, it wasn't going to be worth it. There were basically a number of things that piled up to lead me to this conclusion. First there was the drive, two hours there and two hours back. It's a drive I've done before (same drive I made to get to VT Pride) but for a commute that long (plus driving back at night, which I hate doing) it has to be worth it. Then there was the event itself. I noted a few days before that while it's called a Ball, which implies sort of a social dancing type event it was actually heavily booked with performers. This probably meant that I'd be standing or sitting around watching other performers so their thing. I don't mind seeing other performers but I knew it was going to make me miss the stage, rather severely. Add on the fact that I didn't know anybody who was going to be there and it just didn't seem worth it. Driving two hours there to see other people do the thing that I wish I was doing while not knowing anybody and then having to drive two hours back. Yeah, so I stayed home.
Photo by my wife Laura
I wasn't depressed over the fact that I opted to stay home, more annoyed. I actually realized that I never was all that excited about the Ball to begin with, probably mostly because I wasn't going to perform in it. What I should have done when I heard about it was contact the organizers to see if there was a performance opening, like I had done with Pride. What I miss mostly about going out is what I used to do in New York, which was perform. So while going out in dress is inherently fun, that's not what I'm really missing right now. So I need to start jumping on the few opportunities that there are around here. I made up for not going out last night with a little photo shoot in the house this morning. The picture above is a sample image, the rest are going up on my flickr page over the next few days.