Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Belle Without a Ball

So I had a bit of an odd night last night. What was supposed to happen was that I was going to go to the Drag Ball over in Burlington. I'd already gotten my ticket and had decided on an outfit to match the 1970s theme of the night. Halfway through getting ready I came to the conclusion that I wasn't actually going to go to the ball, and I ended up staying home. It was an odd conclusion for me to come to, because I haven't gone out in dress since VT Pride, way back in July. While I did miss going out, something just didn't feel right.

I realized that for what I was going through, it wasn't going to be worth it. There were basically a number of things that piled up to lead me to this conclusion. First there was the drive, two hours there and two hours back. It's a drive I've done before (same drive I made to get to VT Pride) but for a commute that long (plus driving back at night, which I hate doing) it has to be worth it. Then there was the event itself. I noted a few days before that while it's called a Ball, which implies sort of a social dancing type event it was actually heavily booked with performers. This probably meant that I'd be standing or sitting around watching other performers so their thing. I don't mind seeing other performers but I knew it was going to make me miss the stage, rather severely. Add on the fact that I didn't know anybody who was going to be there and it just didn't seem worth it. Driving two hours there to see other people do the thing that I wish I was doing while not knowing anybody and then having to drive two hours back. Yeah, so I stayed home.

Photo by my wife Laura

I wasn't depressed over the fact that I opted to stay home, more annoyed. I actually realized that I never was all that excited about the Ball to begin with, probably mostly because I wasn't going to perform in it. What I should have done when I heard about it was contact the organizers to see if there was a performance opening, like I had done with Pride. What I miss mostly about going out is what I used to do in New York, which was perform. So while going out in dress is inherently fun, that's not what I'm really missing right now. So I need to start jumping on the few opportunities that there are around here. I made up for not going out last night with a little photo shoot in the house this morning. The picture above is a sample image, the rest are going up on my flickr page over the next few days.

1 comment:

  1. Driving for four hours wouldn't make me happier either. Whatever makes you happy, you know.. =P