Friday, May 27, 2011

Feeling Sexy

Let's be honest, a big part of why I dress is that it makes me feel sexy as all hell. No I should be clear on this before there's any confusion. I explained before in a blog last year that dressing for me is not a sexual act. Something being sexual and feeling sexy is not the same thing. Most of us feel sexy after a good haircut, but that doesn't mean we get off on the sound of clippers. So realize I'm not talking sexual act, just feeling sexy.

Photo by my wife Laura

I don't know if this is the case for other dressers, but for me at least it's actually much easier to feel sexy as a woman than as a man. I think that has quite a bit to do with the fact that it's much easier for me to act sexy as a woman. As a basically heterosexual man I have a much clearer idea in my mind of what women do that I find sexy, which makes it easier to build from that knowledge. Trying to be sexy as a guy is... difficult. In fact to be honest there doesn't seem to be any real technique to being a sexy guy, it feels like you either have it or you don't. Most guys who try to act sexy end up looking goofy or like douche bags... or both.

Women (and therefore anybody dressed as one) have a whole bag of tricks ranging from certain walks and flips of the hair to breathy whispers and tight clothing. There's a whole spectrum of sex appeal for women to use, and unless they come off as awkward or unconfident when they do any of these things they almost always work. Guys... not so much. Aside from massive muscles (which doesn't do it for everybody anyways) the common theme with "sexy" guys seems to be that it comes effortlessly. That is down right impossible to mimic if you don't just have it.

So while I don't think I'm an awkward male I rarely feel like a sexy one because it's never been clear what I could do to be sexy. As a woman though I know what things I can do, and granted they can be over the top at times but it just makes me feel sexy. That's a wonderful feeling and it's one I get much more easily in dress.

1 comment:

  1. Well said honey. I am in the same boat as you.